Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer doesn’t argue with you about when to drink it.
3. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.
4. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.
5. Beer never complains about when you come for it.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
2. Beer tastes *good*.
3. A beer won’t fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: “But I saved a quarter!”
4. When you’re through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn’t make you ill.
5. You can have a beer in public

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. A beer won’t whine that seatbelts hurt.
2. A beer won’t smoke in your car.
3. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
4. A beer is always ready to leave on time.
5. A beer never fishes for compliments.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. A beer is more likely to know how to spell “carburetor” than a woman.
2. A beer doesn’t think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
3. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
4. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say “doberman “instead  of “doberperson”.
5. A beer won’t claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
2. Beer doesn’t need to go to the ‘powder room’ with other beers.
3. Beer doesn’t mind getting dirty.
4. Beer doesn’t complain about insensitivity.
5. A beer won’t make you go to church.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Beer never changes its mind.
2. Beer doesn’t tease you or play hard to get.
3. Beer never asks you to change the station.
4. Beer doesn’t make you go shopping.
5. Beer doesn’t tell you to mow the grass.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Beer doesn’t have a lawyer.
2. Beer doesn’t need much closet space.
3. Beer can’t give your herpes or other nasty things.
4. Beer doesn’t complain about the way you drive.
5. Beer doesn’t mind if you fart or belch.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Beer doesn’t whine, it bubbles.
2. Beer doesn’t have cold hands/feet.
3. Beer doesn’t demand legality.
4. Beer is never overweight.
5. Beer won’t run off with your credit cards.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. Beer doesn’t have a mother.
2. Beer doesn’t look you up in a month.
3. Beer doesn’t worry about someone walking in.
4. Beer doesn’t worry about waking the kids.
5. Beer doesn’t get cramps.

Reasons why Beer is Better than Women
1. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
2. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
3. Beer looks the same in the morning.
4. Beer always listens and never argues.
5. Beer labels don’t go out of style every year.