Ireland, it’s the one place on earth
That heaven has kissed
With melody, mirth,
And meadow and mist.

In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.

In life, there are only two things to worry about, either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick, you have two things to worry about; either you will live, or you will die. If you live, there is nothing to worry about, if you die, you have two things to worry about; either you will go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about, but if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with your friends, you won’t have time to worry!

If you’re enough lucky to be Irish … You’re lucky enough!

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you,
I could walk through my garden forever.

Happiness being a dessert so sweet
May life give you more than you can ever eat.

God made the Italians for their beauty. The French for fine food. The Swedes for intelligence. The Jews for religion. And on and on until he looked at what he had created and said, “This is all very fine but no one is having fun. I guess I’ll have to make me an Irishman.”

God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn’t rule the world.

An old Irish recipe for longevity: Leave the table hungry. Leave the bed sleepy. Leave the table thirsty.

St. Patrick was a gentleman
Who through strategy and stealth
Drove all the snakes from Ireland.
Here’s toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good St. Patrick
And see all those snakes again.