Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy . . . but enough about me. Here’s to you.

Here’s to a man after my own heart.
And after my house and my wife

To your very good health. May you live to be as old as your jokes.

Here’s to the man who is wisest and best
Here’s to the man who with judgment is blest,
Here’s to the man who’s as smart as can be –
I drink to the man who agrees with me!

Here’s to you. You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot.

Here’s to the bore – the only one who can monopolize and monotonize a conversation at the same time.

Here’s to the bee – the busy soul;
He has no time for birth control
That’s why it is in times like these,
We have so many sons of bees!

We know it is true that we’re wicked,
That our criminal laws are lax;
But here’s to punishment for the man
Who invented the income tax

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille!

May you be in Heaven fifteen minutes
before the devil knows you are dead.