I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
—Bette Midler

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
—Sammy Davis, Jr.

Tequila. Straight. There’s a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won’t go down. Then you know you’ve reached your limit.
—Lee Marvin

A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.
—Charlie Chaplin

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.
—George Best

My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they’re going to do for the next five or ten years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking.
—Amy Winehouse

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
—W. C. Fields

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
—Raymond Chandler

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
—G. K. Chesterton, Heretics

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can’t get a drink.
—Tom Waits