“Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.”

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes”

“A hangover is when you open your eyes in the morning and wish you hadn’t.”

“Sorry you can’t take a vacation because you used all your vacation days on hangovers”

“I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figured he’ll just have to mow around me, I’m not moving.”

“Happiness is, waking up without a hangover.”

“It’s not a hangover, it’s wine flu.”

“There’s nothing like taking two flights when you have a horrible hangover. It’s bad when people can see actual alcohol seeping out of your disgusting pores.”

“Hangovers are the worst… I swear it feels like a fat baby is kicking me in the head.”

What I never understand about a hangover is, where does the breath come from? You know what I mean? I mean, is someone shitting in your mouth?”