Once I stopped drinking for a while, but then I woke up.

A drunk man never tells a lie.

If you want to say the truth and you can’t, drink and say it all.

When you’re drunk, you notice the earth really spins.

It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
W.C. Fields

Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they’re drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.
Paul McCartney

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
Terry Pratchett

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
Anonymous

The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!
Danny Jansen

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones