I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

When the wine is in, the wit is out.

Don’t ever talk to your ex while drunk, booze has information in it.

If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty.
Author: Joe E. Lewis

I realize I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be someone’s shot of Tequila anyway

I would give up drinking, but I am not a quitter.

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. – Joe E. Lewis

You look like I need another drink