“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.” –Joe E. Lewis

“If I have one, I’ll have thirteen. No, there ain’t no in-betwee. Cuz the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.” –Blake Shelton

And I don’t have a drinking problem, ‘cept when I can’t get a drink…” –Tom Waits

“I’m getting drunk, with or without you. “–The Beat Farmers

“Jim Beam’s giving me the right to be wrong.”–The Beat Farmers

“I’m gonna drink you pretty.”–The Beat Farmers

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” –Frank Sinatra

“God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. ” –Ed McMahon
Funny Drinking Quotes from Singers

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ” –Dean Martin

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.