“I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.” — Phil Harris

“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” — Mark Twain

“A bottle of beer contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” — Louis Pasteur

“I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” — Noel Coward

“If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror.” — John Mooney

“My nerves could use a drink.” — Grace Kelly, in To Catch a Thief

“A man is a fool is he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.” — Frank Lloyd Wright

“One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough.” — Edward Burke

“Things don’t make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that’s something everyone can do.” — Drew Carey

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” — Drew Carey