Spouses under the influence of alcohol tend to act more aggressively, perhaps because their ability to think rationally is reduced. Alcohol tends to make individuals more impulsive and to decrease their ability to restrain their aggression. This pattern is especially noticeable among spouses who are more aggressive even without alcohol.

The more frequently men are intoxicated, the more likely they are to be verbally and physically violent toward their spouses. Alcohol abuse is connected to increased aggression and marital violence that tends to be more severe and more likely to result in injury.

Among battered women, 40-60 percent reported that their husbands were heavy or problem drinkers. Among married men admitted to alcohol treatment centers, 50-70 percent reported participating in partner violence, with 20-30 percent of these men reporting having engaged in severe violence towards their spouses.

Effects on the brain. Researchers believe that alcohol’s effect on the brain may contribute to the increase in the negative communication. Alcohol appears to impair a person’s ability to understand and properly interpret what a spouse is saying. Alcoholics tend to interpret things their partners say in a very negative way and this leads them to respond with greater anger and negative emotions.

Personality characteristics. Personality characteristics common among alcoholics also can affect communication. Alcoholics tend to be less conscientious, less agreeable, and more anxious and hypersensitive than are nondrinkers. These personality characteristics make effective communication and problem solving more difficult.

Less problem solving. Couples in which one partner is alcoholic engage in problem solving less often than do other couples. Partners in such marriages may lose the desire to engage in problem solving and give up when alcohol is involved because they anticipate that the conversation will soon become negative. As this pattern continues with alcoholism and marriage, important issues such as family finances, sexual intimacy, and childrearing decisions go unresolved because it is easier to avoid communicating than it is to deal with the stress and negative emotions that are associated with alcohol-related communication problems.

Damaging communication. With alcoholism and marriage, alcoholic spouses tend to use more negative and damaging communication (e.g., criticizing, blaming, contempt), express more anger, and show lower levels of warmth when trying to solve a problem than do nonalcoholic spouses. This kind of negative communication discourages the use of positive problem solving skills such as open discussion and encouragement.

With alcoholism and marriage, alcohol problems are related to increased rates of marital violence, poor communication, and feelings of marital distress that lead to a greater risk of divorce.

Alcohol abuse increases the psychological distress of the non-drinking spouse. An adult’s alcohol abuse also is related to children’s increased social, emotional, behavioral, and academic problems, which, in turn, leads to more stress in the family and less marital satisfaction.

Alcohol abuse decreases marital satisfaction because it decreases the drinking spouse’s ability to participate in everyday household tasks and responsibilities. This inability leads to greater stress on the non-drinking spouse and decreases satisfaction in the marriage.